The Potion Test
by SlytherinHawkins105
Summary: Harry is in his fourth year, competing in the tri-wizard cup, he has no friends, depressed, suffering from abuse. He works on his potion to discover that his father is not who he thought he was but in fact his Professor that hates him. Attempted suicide and cutting


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Harry Potter this is my own story and my own idea.

 **A/N:** This is my first story I have published in a while. For those who are following my others stories I am now back to writing them and hoping getting the next chapter's up soon. Also thank you to my beta

"Now that you have brewed the potion, it's time to add a drop of blood" Snape bellowed to his fourth year Gryffindor and Slytherin class.

Harry Potter was working on his own away from Ron and Hermione. Ron still refuses to talk to Harry since his name game out of the goblet of fire a month ago, along with most of the Gryffindors who have given in the cold shoulder.

Harry thought he may have a friend still in Hermione but she has sided with Ron and basically will not talk to Harry.

It hurt Harry that none of his friends or house would support him instead like the whole school they turned against, making fun of him, wearing those stupid 'Potter stink' badges and even the Professors aren't helping…especially Dumbledore who is watching him from the sidelines not even offering to give him extra training.

Now he was stuck in potion glass with his most hated Professor who would rather see him dead then pass his class.

Not many people have noticed that Harry was slipping further and further into depression. He was not eating, barely sleeping, cutting and wishing that he had someone who he could lean on; get support from….anything just to make him feel better.

He didn't have Sirius support, technically his godfather was on the run but he hadn't heard from him all summer or since school started.

Pricking his finger and letting three drops of blood fall into the potion, stir it eleven times anticlockwise and two clockwise and let it simmer for a minute before placing a drop of potion onto the parchment which in turn shows who is biological parents are.

Harry thought this was a waste time. He knew his parents were James and Lily Potter but they were dead unlike the rest of his classmates who most had two parents some only one but at least they knew a parent, Harry didn't.

It was a trying class for him, Snape was sneering at him making his usual derogatory remarks to him. Most of the Gryffindors laughed at him each time, the Slytherin smirked and Harry just wished the ground would swallow him up. He couldn't take it anymore. Harry wanted class to be over, he wanted to cut; he needed to cut to feel pain. He deserved pain; it's all he has ever known was pain and hatred from the muggle world so why would the magical world be any different.

"Don't know why you would bother doing the hereditary test Potter, we all know your parents are dead" Malfoy sneered at him.

"Unlike your father Malfoy who we all know is Death Eater" Harry bit back.

"How dare you insult my father you filthy half blood"Malfoy said his voice full of arrogance.

"Can't handle the truth Malfoy" Harry said raising his voice slightly.

"Believe what you like Potter at least my parents want me unlike yours who couldn't get away from you quick enough" jibed Malfoy.

Before Malfoy could say and do anything else, Harry had pulled his wand and was ready with a curse on the edge of his tongue.

"Potter" yelled Snape before Harry could fire a curse off he just turned and glared at his Professor.

"Forty points from Gryffindor for pointing your wand at a fellow student"

"But Professor…" Harry started before Snape interrupted him.

"But what Potter? Do you think your sohigh and mighty that the rules do NOT apply to you or is it because you're the _Boy-Who-Lived_ that you have to flaunt your fame and NOT suffer the consequences of your actions. Just like your father and Black always thinking your better and not caring who you taunt or hurt….well YOUR NOT. You are nothing but insolence arrogant little boy who needs to learn that he can not get his way all the time. Detention my office at 7pm don't be late or more points will be lost from Gryffindor, now GET. BACK. TO. WORK" Snape finished before turning away with his robes billowing as he moved away from him.

Harry was stunned and hurt by his Professors words. He was nothing like the Professor said he was. He looked around the classroom; his house was glaring at him because of the points he had lost while the Slytherins were smirking at him because once again their head of house had humiliated him in front of them.

Sighing Harry turned back to work trying to stop the tears from falling. He will not cry especially in front Snape, he refuses to show any sign of weakness in front of Snape or the Slytherins; they did not need another reason to taunt him.

The potion had simmered enough by now, getting the eyedropper he placed the dropper in the potion squeezing the end of it and then moving in across and placing a drop on the parchment.

What Harry read next knocked the wind out of him and didn't believe it so he got another piece; same result then another and another but it was the same.

Harry flopped back onto his stool, he felt like he had been hit with a confungus charm. But after testing it one more time and still got the same result. He didn't know what to do or think as read the result over and over again.

 _Alexander Severus Snape_

 _Born: July 31 1980_

 _Mother: Lily Snape (Potter) nee Evans deceased_

 _Father: Severus Tobias Snape_

He was Snape's son, a man that hated him who insults him. How in Merlin name Harry wondered could he be Snape's son. Harry debated with himself weather or not he should show Snape his results and if he did would Snape love him, help him and be the parental figure he always wanted or would he still hate him.

Harry didn't know what to do.

"Potter" Snape again said with venom in his voice.

"Yes sir" Harry replied quietly flinching at the sound of his Professor voice.

"This is not your home here Potter we don't wait on you hand and foot here in fact you have to do your own work here, something you are unfamiliar with I am sure but none the less you need to clean up…twenty points from Gryffindor for expecting others to clean up after you" Snape implied, once again humiliating Harry of something he knows nothing about.

Harry spent the next few minutes cleaning up, debating weather or not he should tell Snape of what the results said about him being his father. Harry knew Snape was not nice man and hated him but there was a little inkling of hope that Snape might change his attitude towards him once Harry showed him the results of the test.

Basing his decision on that one inkling Harry made the decision to show Snape the parchment.

"Next week I want six inches of parchment on the uses of the heredity potion and how it can be made to trace your lineage back, Dismissed" Snape bellowed out and it wasn't long until the class have left leaving Harry alone with his dreaded Professor and hopefully soon Father.

"Umm sir?" Harry said after walking up to Snape.

"What is it Potter, homework to hard for you" Snape growled at Harry.

"No sir" Harry said suddenly feeling that this may have not been such a good idea.

"Then what Potter, unlike you I have better things to do then listen to you" Snape said getting fairly annoyed at his student who happened to be the bane of his existence, the son of his school enemy who stole away the one woman he loved.

Harry didn't say anything but timidly moved his arm towards the Professor with the parchment in his hand that was shaking a bit.

Snape watched the boy wondering why he would give him a parchment, probably to check to make sure he wrote the homework down right; typical Snape thought, it be just like Potter to make sure he was better then everyone well he'll make sure that he gets what he deserves.

Snatching the piece of parchment off Potter and ready to give in what for when the words suddenly stopped from coming out when he read what was on the paper.

"I don't have time for your games _Potter"_ Snape sneered spitting out his last as though it was something foul.

"I-i-its m-m-my potion test results" Harry stuttered feeling slightly foolish that Snape wouldn't change his attitude towards him.

"Obviously you did not do it right" Snape said keeping his voice low and dangerous.

"B-b-but I did what you said and I tested it five times and…" Harry stumbled over his words before Professor Snape slamming his hand on his desk interrupted him.

"ENOUGH! Insolent child." Snapped Snape feeling a headache coming on.

Harry jumped at the sound of Snape yelling at him, it reminded him so much of his Uncle Vernon before he got a beating and he unconsciously took a step back away from his potion Professor supposedly father.

"B-b-ut sir the resul….." Harry stammered again.

"Are nothing more then a foolish mistake on your behalf _Potter_ " Snape spat out and he noticed that the boy was moving back and decided to go in for the kill.

"I am not your father Potter nor would I want to be. I would be ashamed to call you my son. You are nothing but an attention seeking, arrogant, spoilt brat that expects everyone to wait on you hand and foot…a burden to everyone around you because you are lazy and foolish. You don't think of others when you go off on one of your stupid hair brain hero conquest you have a tendency to do thus putting your friends and others in danger. I for one have had enough of your hero complex and don't want my life in danger nor do I want the burden of keeping you out of danger…you are not my problem Potter, I don't want you and if I had my way you wouldn't even be allowed to be in this class, you're a danger to everyone…nothing but a freak of nature" Snape said his voice full of hatred for Harry Potter, spitting out the name _Potter_ as if it was a foul taste.

Harry backed away from the man. He was scared that he would hurt him like his Uncle did when he got mad. Everything that the professor was telling him was true; it had to be as his Uncle was always saying the same and now his so called friends were too, so it had to be true.

Feeling the tears prickling his eyes and turn and ran. He ran as fast as he could to get away from his Potion Professor with only one thought in his mind…he needed to cut and he needed to cut now.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

Harry was making his way down to the dungeons with a heavy heart. He spent the afternoon hidden away in the astronomy tower cutting and crying.

He cried over the word Snape had to say to him. He felt foolish to think that the man would be his father even if the test said he was. He called him a freak and a burden just like his Uncle always called him and now his friends are calling him a freak and to Harry he was.

As he made his way his feared Professor office he couldn't help but wonder what would it be like to have someone who would truly love and care for him…to see him for who he truly was; just Harry. Not the Boy-Who-Lived or anything that the wizarding world bestowed upon him but just Harry.

But deep down no one ever would, he would never know what it is like to have someone love him unconditionally. He never had parental love, he thought he had friendship but they soon turned his back on him and he would never know what it would like to have a lover. Harry knew he was gay and so far his experience in that field has taught there was no love needed to have sex.

He reflected back on his short life, he may have only been fourteen years old but he has more trauma and abuse in his life then anyone else he knows has.

Harry from as earliest could remember has always been abused in some form or another. His Aunt would often verbally and physically abuse him. His cousin would always be beating him up and making sure he was well and truly isolated from having any forms of friends. Where as his Uncle from as long as Harry could remember was sexually abusing him as well as beating him and calling him everything under the sun…not that Harry would ever admit he was being abused; it was easy just to deny it.

He arrived at the potion master door and knocked lightly, hopefully enough that Snape wouldn't hear him and he could skip out on detention.

"Enter" Professor Snape barked from the other side of the door, loud enough for Harry to jump in fright.

Slowly entering his office Harry cautiously walked up to the foul tempered man and stood and waited patiently for the man to say something.

"Well Mr. Potter, late as usual" Snape sneered "10 points from Gryffindor"

Harry felt like arguing with the man but knew better then to back chat the short temper Professor and remained quiet.

"Tonight Mr. Potter is to clean this classroom, take a inventory of potion ingredients plus scrub those cauldrons then perhaps then you will get it into your thick arrogant head to stop this fallacy of having to be the center of attention" Snape barked out.

"But that could take all night" Harry argued back before covering his mouth to stop himself from saying more.

Professor Snape stood up using his height to intimidate the fourteen year old boy and crossing his arms over his chest with his wand in his hand he sneered at Harry.

"I don't care if it takes all night _Potter_ you are not leaving her until it is done to my satisfaction" and with that he turned and started to head out of the classroom but stopped and said to Harry.

"You are to do this without magic… _accio_ Potter's wand" Snape said pointing his wand at Harry and saying the spell and catching Harry's wand with his other hand before exiting the classroom.

Harry stood in the classroom, his head hanging down; shoulder's slumped looking absolutely defeated.

He could feel the hatred rolling off the man more then he did before his lesson earlier today and was now wishing he never showed the Professor the hereditary result as the comments from the man seem to hurt now even more and the feeling he was alone was now more prominent then before.

For the next several hours Harry scrubbed and clean the pile of cauldrons before moving onto doing the inventory of the student supply cabinet and cleaning it up.

Lastly he started on the classroom. Harry had no idea how long he had been there or what time it was. At one stage he heard other students walking by after a few hours of cleaning. His Professor was in and out all the time and Harry decided to keep quiet and do his work as he figured the quicker he got it done the quicker he was out of here, the better off he would be.

After a few more hours Harry was exhausted, tired and hungry and decided to sit down on the floor for a five-minute rest closing his eyesand didn't realize that he had fallen asleep till he felt someone nudge him with his foot.

"Wake up you lazy little boy" Snape sneered giving Harry another hard nudge to wake the sleeping boy.

Harry jumped awake and quickly stood up.

"Sorry sir didn't mean to fall asleep" Harry said dusting his uniform off.

"I am sure you didn't" Snape said sarcastically "fifty points from Gryffindor for your laziness plus another detention which will be served once you finished this one" Sanpe continued on angry at the young Gryffindor for falling asleep.

Although Snape knew Harry would be tired for he has being down in the dungeons cleaning for eighteen hours but couldn't care less for he wanted to punish the son of his enemy more all the misdeeds he had done to him in school.

"Yes sir" Harry said defeated and continued on with his work with cleaning the classroom, steeling a pepper up potion to keep himself awake for if he knew one thing if his Professor caught him asleep again he would be in bigger trouble then he is now plus Gryffindor would have a massive point loss for as he already lost Gryffindor a hundred points in a day.

It was several hours later when Harry finally finished the classroom and all he wanted to do was to have something to eat and curl up and get some sleep but he knew if he left, he would once again face the wrath of Snape and he wasn't prepared for that.

In the meantime he put everything away and once again stole a pepper up potion for he had a feeling he will need it.

About an hour late Snape came back, surveyed the room and was satisfied that Potter did an adequate job.

"Come Potter" Snape said to his student who was sitting quietly at the desk looking a bit worse for where but decided to ignore it and get him to serve his next detention so he'll be out of his hair.

Snape led them through the passage way and into the trophy room and he pulled out his wand and summoned some polish and a rag.

"Here Potter" He said passing the rag and polish to his student.

"Sir?" Harry said looking at his Professor hoping he didn't have to do what he thought he had too.

"I know that some where in that feeble mind of yours that there maybe be a ounce of intelligence I had hoped but once again you have proven to me that the wizarding world as we know is doom if they expect a insolent brat like you to save them when he can't work out what he has to do with a simple rag and polish" Snape said once again using his words to insult Harry intelligence.

Harry was once again stung by his Professor words more now because he has discovered said Professor was his father…well according to the heredity test they did but yet the man denied any claim for him to be his son, if fact he said he would be ashamed to call him his son.

"No response Potter, how articulate the _Boy-Who-Lived_ has nothing to say, perhaps he is finally learning that nobody wants to hear his whiny voice or perhaps he has nothing interesting to say not that you ever did have anything interesting say did you Potter?" Snape said with as much venom in his voice he good muster.

"No sir" Harry said sadly.

"Just as I thought. Now Mr. Potter you are to polish all the trophies in this room, without magic and you are not to leave here until you are done, is that clear Mr. Potter?" Snape demanded.

"Yes sir" Harry said and headed over to the first of many trophy cabinets to polish while Snape turned and left the room without another word.

Throughout the next few hours Snape came in and out sporadically as Harry slowly made his way through each display cabinet one at a time. Dusting the trophies then polish them and placing back onto the shelf he cleaned.

He took sometime out to cut himself after one of Snape checkups, making him feel better as he went on with only his thoughts and the pain of his cut to keep him company.

While he was cleaning it left time for him to think. All his life he has not been wanted by anyone, he has even convinced himself that his parents didn't want or he should say his mother and James Potter didn't want him. His father didn't want him either; neither did the Durlsey's and no one at Hogwarts seem to care what happens to him.

The only person that wanted him was Voldemort and he only wanted him so he could kill him and Harry was starting to wish that he would kill him, put him out of this miserable excuse he had for a life.

Then the idea started to creep into his mind that he shouldn't wait for Voldemort to kill him. But perhaps it would be better for everyone thathe did die. His friends didn't care for him anymore and have turned against him like the rest of the school did the moment his name came out of the cup.

Sirius didn't care for him either, he hadn't heard from his godfather since he received his new broom nor had he heard from Remus either both claiming to be his parents friends and both claiming they would be there for him but neither of them have made contact with Harry since he last spoke with them.

Dumbledore doesn't seem to care that he was in the tri-wizard tournament or the other professors; they just go on like there is nothing unusual happening to him. Then there were the Dursley, they wouldn't care if they never saw him again except for the fact they would have no one to beat up and his Uncle wouldn't be able to have his sexual release or as his uncle would often say that the only thing he would ever be good for is a good fuck.

Then there was Snape; according to the potion Snape was his biological father but Snape has said he basically wants nothing to do with him and his actions especially since that potion have said the same. Snape doesn't want him, which meant that Harry was alone in both muggle and the wizarding world.

The hours ticked by and the dust was getting to Harry as he was sneezing a lot. He was tired and exhausted and extremely hungry. He had no idea how long he had being going at this but he was sure that it was sometime late Saturday night or the early hours on Sunday morning, in fact it had been a while since Snape last called in but Harry wouldn't dare rest in fear that he would end up in detention again.

Harry finished polishing the last trophy and he wasn't game to leave so he went and sat the steps and waited for Snape to come. It took a few more hours for Snape to appear and Harry had managed to stay awake, barely.

Snape looked around and was pleased to see the boy was done and was finally out of his hair and now he could enjoy his Sunday of brewing potion without having to worry about the brat.

"Finally I can have you out of my hair Potter, your dismissed" Snape said and Harry got up to walk away but Snape had one more thing to say to him.

"And Potter having been on detention will not be an excuse for not having your homework done for class tomorrow" Snape said smirking at his student.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

It now had been a month since the test and things were getting worse for Harry. Snape was degrading him more and more, the Daily Prophet was printing lies about him that everybody seem to believe and the first task was only a day away and he had no idea what it was or how he was going to make it through it.

He has spent many hours learning knew spells on his own; he had no guidance and no one he could talk to about his fears.

He wrote to Sirius after his horrific detention with Snape but has not heard back from his godfather once again.

He continues cutting almost everyday now, he makes them bleed and somehow through the blood and pain he was inflicting onto himself it gave him a form of comfort so much so that at times he went deeper.

He still had the thought of suicide, in fact it was now a constant thought for him…a companion. He was hardly sleeping, barely eating, had no friends and was just basically going around like a zombie. For Harry he wasn't living anymore, he was just existing.

Harry didn't eat breakfast that morning, he didn't see the point of good food being wasted on him not caring that in the next hour he would be doing his first task for the triwizard tournament.

During his many stints in the library Harry read up about the tri-wizard tournament and to his surprise many students in the past have been killed while doing this tournament…Harry hoped he'll be killed, saves him doing it himself not that anyone would care if he was dead; the fact that he wasn't wanted or love was always foremost in his mind.

Harry met up with the other three and headed down to the tent with their respective. Krum walked alongside his headmaster Karkaroff, Fluer with the giant Madame Maxime and lastly Cedric chatting amicably with headmaster Dumbledore with Harry trailing behind them.

As they entered the test, there were four beds; one in each corner with curtains to pull them around. On there bed were the tri wizard uniforms; Harry's and Cedric were in their respective house color while the other two were in the school colors.

It was about half an hour later the four champions were changed when Barty Crouch Snr came in carrying a small black bag that appeared to have small movements judging from the way the sides would stick out every now again.

The minister for international affairs explained that they had to snatch a golden egg from the nesting female dragons, for without the egg they will not be able to move onto the next task as it contained the clue that was needed.

Once that was done and a few vexatious pictures later by Rita Skeeter Fleur Delacour timidly put her hand in the bag and pulled out a female common Welsh Green, which seem to please Madame Maxime.

Viktor Krum was next and confidently picked a female Chinese fireball both him and Headmaster Karkaroff smirking at the choice of dragon that Viktor pulled out of the bag.

Cedric Diggory was next; taking a quick look at the headmaster he quickly got over his assertiveness and placed his hand in the bag and selected the female Swedish short-snout and gave a sigh of relief as if he knew something.

Harry Potter had a bad feeling that luck opted out on him as he got the bad tempered female Hungarian Horntail.

Harry sat back on his bed since he was the last contestant to enter the arena thinking or in some way perhaps hoping that the dragon may kill him that way he didn't have to do it himself.

Some Gryffindor Harry thought, he lack the courage to take his own life but yet wanted to be dead more then anything, to be away from the cruel world and perhaps join his mother in death for he no longer had the will to live but at the same time didn't have the courage to survive either if death came knocking at his door.

"Potter your up" Filched yelled from the cannon that was placed on the top pole of the tent.

Harry got up and made his way to the entrance of the arena before looking up to Filch who was lighting the cannon and with a loud boom it went and Harry made his way into the eerily quiet arena.

Harry slowly walked around a rock, wand in hand spotting the egg off to his left not to far on top of a set of rocks. He looked around to see if he could spot the dragon but saw no sign of it.

Taking a few more steps closer but was halted very quickly as out of the corner of his eye he saw something coming near him and in another step the dragons tail hit the rock, smashing it sending debris everywhere; some of it hitting Harry.

Harry winced as the debris hit but years of experience had taught him how to hide the pain and keep on going.

For the next few minutes Harry from a spectators point of view he was dodging the swooshing tail of the dragon to the fire breath and debris around him but when in actually fact Harry had taken a fair amount of beating and burns from the dragon.

He was feeling week and light headed but that didn't deter him from what he was suppose to do. Firing off a confundus spell, using aguamenti to douse the fire and a conjunctivitis spell Harry was able to get the egg and make his way back to the tent.

Although he finished in last place and done what was required; he felt empty, no satisfaction what so ever and once again he had done what other's expected of him.

Harry made his way back to the tent…alone.

He got change and checked out his injuries. He had several bruises on his up torso, burns down his left side and across his lower back and partially down the back of his legs.

But the worst injury was a huge gash down his back on the right hand side. It was deep and bleeding badly and Harry knew he was suppose to go and see madam Pomfrey after he returned from the arena to get checked out but he opted out on doing that and quickly got changed, grabbed the egg a snuck out before anyone could commandeer him.

Harry quickly made his way back to the castle but instead of heading towards Gryffindor like he was suppose too, he headed towards the third floor right hand corridor and into room where the trap door is that Harry went through a few years ago to stop the Philosopher stone being stolen…the room that once house the three headed cyberus.

Harry had made this room or the room just under the trap door his own personal quarters, the only place that Harry felt safe. He couldn't stay in the dorm as his former roommates are bullying him, going through his things and destroying them…they were making his life difficult for him thus the reason for moving here.

Harry jumped down the trap into his make shift room and collapsed on to the mattress that laid on the floor for he had no bed and was not very good at transfiguration or anything else…expect for being a good fuck according to his Uncle.

Harry was exhausted, in pain, tired, hungry and weak but he couldn't care less for what his body was demanding of him. His injuries were extremely painful and knew if left untreated they could become infected but Harry knew there will not be a chance of that happening for tonight he is going to say goodbye for once and for all.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

Severus Snape was furious along with Madam Pomphrey and Minerva McGonagall and the reason for there fury was because of one Harry Potter who had snuck off after his battle in the arena before getting any medical attention.

In Snape opinion the boy was just pulling another stunt to gain more attention to himself…to bask in the glory of making it through the first round of the infamous Tri-wizard tournament and when he gets his hand on the boy he will give him what for.

Severus along with Minerva are fast making their way to Gryffindor tower to fetch him and in Severus' opinion literally drag the boy from the tower by the scruff of the neck to the infirmary perhaps with a bit of humiliation Harry Potter will finally understand that not everyone will worship the ground he walks on.

Arriving quickly at the fat lady's portrait, Professor McGonagall whispered the password both Professors step through into what Severus thought would be the Gryffindor house worshipping the Potter boy victory but instead it was rather subdued like what Severus thought would be a normal day.

"Mr. Weasley would you kindly tell Mr. Potter that I would like to see him" The stern witched demanded.

"He's not here Professor" Hermione answered.

"Then where he is?" Professor McGonagall asked slightly confused as to why Potter was no celebrating with his fellow housemates.

"We don't know Professor, Potter doesn't stay in the tower anymore…hasn't for a longtime Professor" Hermione replied looking at her fellow housemates then her Professors.

"Explain yourself Miss Granger!" Professor McGonagall demanded voice slightly rose, as she was rather shock to hear one of her students have moved out of the dormitory without her knowing.

Severus Snape on the other was rather curious as to why Harry Potter has moved out of the Gryffindor tower. As he looked around the Gryffindor common room he noticed that not many people pay heed to their head of house as she questioned two thirds of what was once known as the golden trio.

He was also intrigue by the fact that Miss Granger, Harry Potter friend or so he thought had referred to him as 'Potter' and not 'Harry', making him think that perhaps Potter thought he was too good for them and Gryffindor tower that he go somewhere else.

"Well…you see…it was like this Professor well…we sort of played a few pranks on Potter and he…well he left" Hermione said stuttering her way through it which instantly raised suspicions in Severus for as he was a skilled occlumency he could tell instantly when people were lying or hiding something. In the case of Hermione Granger it was obvious that she was doing both and looking towards his fellow Professor who's lips were thinning out for she to could tell that there was something amiss here.

Minerva was not impressed that she was being lied to or the fact that one of the most brightest and hard working witches was lying to her but for now she had to let it go for the need to find Harry Potter was forth coming.

"I think there is more to it then what you are telling Miss Granger. Twenty points from Gryffindor for deceiving your Professor and a further forty points from Gryffindor from not informing anyone of a fellow student leaving the dormitory" Minerva said with harshness in her voice and if the situation wasn't serious Severus could have laughed at the shocked expression on Miss Granger's face for the huge amount of points she just loss Gryffindor.

"Didn't think it was important," Ron Weasley muttered under his breath.

This comment alone enraged the head of Gryffindor house even further.

"That Mr. Weasley is uncalled for…twenty more points from Gryffindor for your lack of respect for a fellow student!"

"WHAT! That is so not fair bloody _Potter_ is not worth it" Ron bellowed out spitting out the name 'Potter' as something foul in his mouth, the same way Draco Malfoy would speak 'Potter'.

"That Mr. Weasley fifty points from Gryffindor and for your lack of testimonial detention for the next two weeks to be served with Mr. Filch" Minerva said her anger was clear at her fourth year student.

The rest of Gryffindor house shrunk into them a little for they knew their head of house was extremely angry and remained quiet not wanting to anger her any further.

Ron Weasley was about to protest more until Hermione pulled on his arm and shaking her head without taking her eyes off her head of house or her most feared Professor.

Both Professors glared at the students before turning and exiting out of the common room.

"Severus" Minerva started "I need to find Mr. Potter…I had no idea that he took it upon himself to leave the tower"

"Typical Potter doing things without thinking" Severus said with a bit of venom in his voice but not fully.

"I don't think so Severus, I got the distinct impression that there is more to it then what they were telling me and if Potter behavior is anything to go by lately I think that perhaps the problem is bigger then we think"

"Minerva?" Severus asked slightly baffled at what Minerva said about Potter's behavior.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed Severus?" Minerva asked slightly stunned but getting her answer quickly as Severus raised his eye as if saying what in merlin's name was she talking about.

"I suppose you haven't a man of obtuse observation should have noticed but then again you haven't been able to set your hatred aside for James Potter but Severus you forget he is also Lily's son and I do know how much you loved her and her leaving you did to you but for now you need to put that aside and help me find Harry" Minerva said before turning and heading off.

Severus was stunned, he was not sure how Minerva knew that him and Lily loved each other or the fact that Lily left him for James bloody Potter and later have his baby but according to the heredity potion Harry was his son…which he still wanted to deny but deep down he knew that it was a strong possibility as Harry was born nine almost ten months after Lily left him.

He knew Lily was exceptionally talented with charms and could have put a delay charm but shook his head at that possibility. Harry Potter was NOT his child but he was his beloved Lily's child and despite the hurt of her betrayal he could not let her son suffer so he quickly chased after Minerva with his robes billowing.

"Alright I'll help you find Potter, Merlin knows I have been saving his sorry behind since he walked into this school" Severus sneered at the thought of giving up more time for the Potter brat.

"I appreciate it Severus." Minerva said as they both were heading down the corridor.

"You stated that something about the way Potter is behaving lately, explain" Severus replied as they continued to walk down the corridors onto the stairwells.

Looking across to her college, a man she considered a friend. A man who she has watched since entering school at the age of eleven who was not a happy child but Lily Evans was able to reach through to him and made him happy. She also watched as the two fell in love and she knew Severus loved with a great passion she could see it but that was destroyed when Lily walked out on him and straight into the arms of his arch nemesis James Potter and to this day Minerva had no idea way Lily left him.

"It's just that since the beginning of the year that Mr. Potter is more quiet. I have noticed that he seems to be alone more often and not with Miss Granger or Mr. Weasley anymore and ever since his name had came out of the tri-wizard cup he has become more withdrawn but lately he seems like..I don't know more depressed and I have tried talking to him but nothing I say gets him to open up to me, I am really worried about him Severus and after today I fear he maybe badly injured" Minerva stated her observation of what she has noticed about Harry Potter.

"Indeed" Severus replied not admitting he to had noticed some of the changes in Harry Potter.

"If I may Minerva, I suggest we split up we may cover more of the castle and send a patronus when you find him" Severus said.

"Alright, I'll do the grounds, Hagrid's place, the quidditch pitch"

"I'll do the dungeons, library and the greenhouses"

"Alright, meet back at the great Hall when we have finished and go from there."

Severus nodded and headed of to the dungeons while Minerva headed outside.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

Harry remained hidden until after curfew before he headed up to the astronomy tower. He quickly made his way along the corridors leaving his invisibility cloak and map back in his knapsack in the hopes that perhaps one day someone else will find it and make good use of it.

Harry was tired, feeling sick and making his final trek to the astronomy; he wanted to see the stars one last time.

He thought about writing a note…a goodbye letter but he had no one to leave it to. His family didn't want him, although he did think Uncle Vernon would perhaps miss the fact he couldn't fuck him anymore or perhaps his so called father and most hated Professor would miss belittling him all the time but other then that he had nothing…not a thing. After fourteen years he had nothing to show for it. Fourteen years of living hell will be over tonight!

Harry climbed the stairs into the astronomy tower and made his way over to the balcony and sat onto the railing staring out into the night sky.

Harry wasn't sure how long he sat there but he enjoyed the tranquility the night sky offered and removed his out robe and rolled up the sleeves.

Dumping his robe on to the ground he reach into his pocket and pulled out his razorblade and started running it alone his wrists and cutting through the artery. Smiling at the sight of the blood he proceeded to cut the other wrist feeling a sort of peace engulf him as he started to slip away into the world of unconscious's.

Severus Snape was frustrated and extremely annoyed, he had spent most of the afternoon and well into the night looking for the Potter brat and as of yet to find him.

He was making his way around the top of the castle and was about to head back down when he passed the entrance to the astronomy tower and was going to keep going but stopped.

He looked at the door, he had checked the astronomy tower earlier but no one was there and nearly kept going but something was niggling at the back of his mind to go check it again.

Severus reached the top of the stairs and did a quick scan and was about to turn when he smelt something, something that he was very familiar with especially in his early years as a loyal Death Eater.

Stepping further into the astronomy tower and with his keen eye he looked around but couldn't see anything and was about to leave when he caught sight of something or someone. In the corner slumped against the railing was a student. But not just any studentit was Harry Potter.

He could tell it was the boy by the messy hair and the glasses but at the same time was shocked at the sight of the boy.

He was sitting on his robes wearing baggy pants and shirt that looked about ten sizes to big for him but it wasn't that that shocked him; it was the blade in one hand and blood coming out of both his wrists.

Snapping quickly out of his despair and rushed over to the boy and felt for a pulse. Breathing a sigh of relief when he felt a faint pulse but his skin was cold and he looked deathly pale and Severus knew every second count for the boy was dying.

Grabbing his wand he conjured some badges and wrapped around the boys wrist, the reached into his pocket for a blood-replenishing potion. He thought about pouring down his throat but he knew the boy was to far gone to swallow so he spelled it into him in the hopes that it would buy him enough time to get him down to Poppy.

Before picking up the boy Severus sent a patronus off with a message for Minerva to meet him at the hospital wing and picked up the boy taking a mental note at how light and thin the boy was but it wasn't time for that he had to get to the hospital wing.

"POPPY" Severus yelled as he entered the hospital wing gently placing him on the bed.

"Severus Snape there is no need to yell" Poppy said scurrying out of her office and seeing what the yelling was when she noticed that once again Harry Potter was laying unconscious on one of her beds.

"I see Potter has finally shown up after today with the dragons." Poppy said pulling her wand out when she noticed the bandages around his wrist and how deathly pale the boy was.

"What happened to him Severus?" Poppy asked thinking that perhaps it had something to do with the tournament today.

"I found him in the astronomy tower bleeding" Severus started "Poppy I think he tried to commit suicide" he stated solemnly.

"Suicide" Poppy said in shock at the thought of a student trying to commit suicide especially Harry Potter.

Quickly switching into medical mode she cast a diagnostic charm on the boy to see what damaged was done with the results appearing on a parchment in front of her.

"Severus I need your help" Poppy gasped as she read the results of Harry's diagnostic before handing the results over to the Potion Master.

Severus read the results and to say he was surprise was an understatement but his facial expression never changed.

"What do you need?" Severus asked handing the parchment back to the medi-witch.

"I need you to remove his clothes while I get the necessary potion" Poppy said and scurried off to the potion cabinet.

In the meantime Severus spelled the boys clothes off leaving him his boxers and if it weren't from the years of experience as a spy his facial expression would have shown.

Looking over the boy he could see how underweight he was. He could see each rib on the child, as well as burn marks and a gash that was fresh which Severus knew had to be from today.

As well as other scars, many scars some new some old and some were self-inflicted and for the first time Severus didn't see Harry Potter as James Potter son or his former lover's son but as a boy…a boy who felt the need to take his own life and he couldn't help but wonder what have driven this boy to do that.

Poppy came back with a tray full of potions that may or may not be needed just as Minerva walked into the hospital wing.

"Oh thank Merlin you have found him Severus" looking at the boy who Severus covered up with a sheet so she wouldn't see the scars or burns on the boy body… in some ways he wanted to protect the dignity of Harry Potter.

"What do you suppose happened to him?" Minerva asked unaware at how delicate the situation with Harry was at the moment.

Before he could say anything Poppy spoke up first "I don't know yet Minerva, Severus has just brought him so if you can excuse us we will be able to attend to him" Poppy said in a voice that left no room for argument and Minerva knew from experience that she was hiding something but left it for the time being and hurried out of the hospital wing.

"Why didn't you just tell her that Potter tried to kill himself?" Severus asked for Poppy was not ne to usually cover things up.

"Because Severus we need to try and save him and we don't have the time to have chat about why Harry has tried to commit suicide" Poppy said as she started to work on the boy.

"Indeed" was all Severus replied and started to help Poppy with the boy.

For the next several hours Poppy and Severus to get Harry Potter stabilized. Not only did he suffer from a massive blood loss but he also had third degree burns, a gash that was not only infected but had caused some damage to some of his internal organs. As well as being severely underweight and malnourished and on top that he was exhausted.

After applying several monitoring charms both Poppy and Severus made there way to her office and calling for a house elf to get some tea she collapsed into her chair while Severus although exhausted sat on the other chair.

"Why?" Poppy asked after a few minutes of silence and sipping her tea.

"Care to be more specific there" Severus said in biting but exhausted tone.

"Potter, Severus, I'm asking why would he run off after today's task when it is obvious he needed medical attention or more importantly why would he try and kill himself" Poppy said annoyed that after the last few hours Severus was still bitter about everything.

"Who knows the boy is always graving for attention" Severus said dismissively.

"HOW DARE YOU SEVERUS SNAPE" Poppy seethed, she still can't believe that he could still hold onto a grudge for this long.

"That boy his laying over there fighting for his life and you couldn't care less as to why? What is your problem Severus, what is your problem with Harry?"

"He is nothing but a spoilt, lazy, conceded brat just like his father and black"

"He's Lily son also or have you forgotten about that fact" Poppy said but instantly regretted because like Minerva she knew of Severus's marriage to Lily but never knew why Lily ended up with James Potter.

"No but she left me for him and had his spawn" Severus said hiding the hurt he was feeling right now.

"And yet you take out all your hurt, anger and hatred that you feel out on a fourteen year old boy Severus" Poppy said

"She left me and next thing I hear she is pregnant with James all high and mighty Potter

Barely a month after she left me, so what does that tell she was cheating on me with him the whole time"

"Is that what you think Severus that Lily cheated on you"

"It makes sense how else does one fall pregnant so quickly"

"Then you're the fool Severus Snape"

"I am NOT a fool"

"Lily loved you Severus, we could all see it"

"If she loved me then why did she leave me" Severus said feeling all the fight leave him.

"I don't know Severus but have you ever stopped and thought that perhaps Harry is your child and not James's"

"He is not my son" Severus said but with it was laced a bit of doubt.

"Are you certain of that Severus?"

"Of course I am, he his the spitting image of James Potter and just as arrogant and spoilt as he was" He seethed

"It's a pity your hatred for James is so strong that you can't see what's in front of you" Poppy said with sadness in her voice.

"There is nothing wrong with my sight"

"No you're so blinded by hatred, it's a pity really for Harry could really do with someone that loves him"

"He's got his family that worship him and all of his Gryffindor friends"

"Your wrong Severus, your hatred as once again blinded you to what is really happening to him, he is not who you think he is Severus"

"He is nothing but…"

"DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE SEVERU SNAPE" Poppy yelled at him cutting him off before he could finish that statement off.

Severus was rather surprise at the anger that the matron for usually she was never this protective of a student and Severus couldn't help but wonder what if it was true.

Poppy shook her headat the man stubbornness and stood up to leave the office but stopped at the door and turned back to the man sitting in the chair and was once reminded of a young boys anguish of wanting someone to take him away from his home.

"You know Severus I look over towards the bed and see a little boy that wants to be loved and accepted into this world but instead has all the pressures of the wizarding world on his shoulders but take that away from him and he is just an ordinary boy who wants somebody to love him…it many ways he once reminds me of a young Slytherin boy who wanted something in this world to be love and accepted by his piers" and with that statement Poppy left to check on her patient leaving a stewing potion master in her office.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

A week had passed and Harry Potter had yet to wake up, in fact Madam Pomfrey was beginning to wonder if he ever would for it truly seemed that he had lost the will to live.

The day after brought in Albus Dumbledore who came down to visit and you can see the sadness in the man eyes when he looked at Harry and sat with the boy for a little while.

Minerva came in later and the three them had a very intense discussion as to what had driven this boy so far that he felt the need to take his own life and for the next few days that how things pretty much proceeded with much speculation to why he did it.

But the surprise visit came from the residents Potion Master late of a night and he would sit and stare at the boy before returning to his quarters.

Poppy could have sworn the Snape was holding the boys hand one night but dismissed it quickly when she saw that he put something into his pocket. She was going to confront the man about but decided to leave it for she knew the man had a short fuse especially involving anything to do with Harry Potter.

Harry was slowly coming to, he knew where he was by the feel of the scratchy sheets and the smell that surrounded him…he was once again in the hospital wing, third bed along he bet.

Harry was at a lost to how he came here for he was certain that it was way past curfew when he went up to the astronomy tower and he even checked his map to make sure no one was in the vicinity of the tower and there wasn't including Snape who was at the time over the other side of the school.

Slowly he opened his eyes adjusting to the light, he reached for his glasses placing them on and looked around taking note that no one was waiting for him to wake up…in fact no one was around at all which only confirmed to him that nobody wanted or care for him at all.

Swallowing the tears that threaten to form Harry had a look around for his wand but unable to find it.

He tried to sit up but was feeling a bit sore and stiff around the mid section but Harry determined to get up, he wanted to get out of there and finish what he failed to do and that is he wanted to die and nothing or nobody was going to convince him otherwise.

"What do you thing you are doing Mr. Potter?" Madam Pomfrey said rushing back into the hospital wing after hearing the monitoring alarms go off alerting her that Harry was waking up.

"Just wanted to sit up, that's all" Harry replied meekly.

"And undo all my hard work, I think not Mr. Potter" Madam Pomfrey scorned him.

"My wand? Where is my wand?" Harry asked after he was adjusted back into bed.

"It's safe Mr. Potter and for the time being it will stay where it is until it is deemed safe to give it back to you"

"What do you mean safe?" Harry said feeling a surge of anger flow through him.

"Mr. Potter after your recent…. stay here, the Headmaster has thought it be prudent that he look after it"

Harry to say the least was annoyed but it's not like he needed or anything to finish what he failed to set out to do.

"Now you stay put Mr. Potter or I'll be forced to place a sticky charm on you" The matron said as she hustled away from the bed and into her office to call the Headmaster, Gryffindor head of house as well as get the potions Harry needed.

Harry was silently fuming that once again those around him were controlling him and as soon as he can he was out of there and out of Hogwarts and the wizarding world and disappearing where no one can find him and he'll be free to finish what he started without the chance of anyone finding him…the only question is how?

It wasn't long before Harry heard the footsteps of the matron coming back.

"The Headmaster and Professor McGonagall are on their way but in the meantime I need you to take these potions for me Mr. Potter" The matron said while placing the tray with four vials of potions on it.

Picking up the vial Madam Pomfrey uncorked it and passed it over to Harry who just laid their refusing to take the potion, he figures he could have some control over what he takes what he doesn't and besides who said he wanted to get better again, for Harry it was really no point.

"Mr. Potter I am not going to stand here waiting for you take these" Madam Pomfrey demand while holding the phial for Harry to take but refused to move.

"Mr. Potter"

"Mr. Potter" she said after a while but still no response from Harry.

"Fine be like that Mr. Potter but don't think you are getting out of taking these that easily" Madam Pomfrey huffed.

At the sametime both Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore walked in made their way over to where Harry was.

"Poppy…Harry how are we?" Professor Dumbledore said with his usually twinkle in his eye.

Poppy huffed and told both Albus and Minerva about Harry and what she believes that he needs to do to recover. She even recommended that maybe he needs to either go to St Mungo's but Albus and Minerva did not think that will be a good idea being out in the open with limited wards to protect him or have a psychologists come and visit him at Hogwarts.

Poppy put forward that she was worried that Harry may try again and was more afraid that next time he may succeed.

Albus listened carefully to what Poppy was say and so did Minerva and they both wondered what could have driven the savior to try and take his own life.

From what Albus saw of Harry he could see a normal happy fourteen-year-old boy but as life had that perhaps the burden the wizarding world put on his shoulders maybe getting to the young man.

Minerva on the other hand saw the school go against the boy hero and didn't have much support but couldn't see how that was enough to drive him to try and commit suicide.

Harry was also getting annoyed that the three adults were around discussing him like he wasn't there with all of them having taking turns at looking at him with sympathetic eyes but with a hint of curiosity as to why he tried to kill himself.

Anger was boiling underneath the surface for Harry, he didn't want their sympathy; no all he wanted was to be just Harry, a normal fourteen-year-old boy with both his parent alive and perhaps they would even love him like he wanted to be loved; just like Mr. and Mrs. Weasley love their children.

But he knew that would never happen, he had and will forever be a freak of nature that didn't deserve to be loved,

"Harry" Headmaster Dumbledore said his voice laden heavily with emotion but Harry refused to acknowledge the man that he once considered as a grandfather figure.

"Harry, why Harry? What is going on that you couldn't come to me" The headmaster almost pleaded but Harry didn't want to yield to the man who he knew would turn his back on him again; all grown ups do that to Harry.

Albus tried to get Harry attention a few times but for the time being he gave up along with Minerva and Poppy, all knowing that whatever drove the savior to the point that he had to take his own life, he was no out of the woods and all feared that he would try again and thus coming to the conclusion he would need to be watched.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

Over the next few days many of the staff and ghosts came to watch over the Savior of the world but as of yet he was to speak, eat or take his potions it was a if Harry has lost the will to live and no matter what Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall or Madam Pomfrey did…none of them could get the boy to open up and were becoming extremely worried.

Severus Snape had heard all that was going on with Harry…his son. Yes Severus knew Harry was his son, he performed the heredity test on the boy while he was out.

Severus drunk himself into oblivion that night he discovered that all along Harry did brew the test right and he was his son and at the same time furious with Lily for never telling him that he had a son.

Then after a while he came to terms that he had a son, a son that he has treated horribly and with hatred…a son that not so long ago he told him that he would be ashamed to call him a son…a son that felt the need to take his own life and he didn't know why.

As far as Severus was concerned Harry didn't need him as a father and he certainly did not need Harry as a son for the boy has being doted upon by his relatives but something was niggling at the back of his mind saying it's not true but Severus pushed it aside.

He rose from the staff table and headed out towards the hospital wing as it was his turn to babysit the boy wonder and yet the guilt that has being eating at him was now only increasing with each step he took towards the hospital wing.

He entered the wing and straight over to where Professor Trelawney was sitting mumbling some sort of mumbo-jumbo like she usually does.

"Severus" She said dreamily.

"Sybil" He sneered.

"I see dark places, you are in danger…" Sybil started off in one of her lame predication about death and dark places that Severus has heard a million times.

"Enough you stupid girl…. what of Potter"

"He's in a dark place, he's in great danger" Sybil said has she got up and started to leave the hall.

"Get back to your tower and do the world a favor and never show your useless hide ever again until you know how to do a true predication for once in your life" and with that Sybil left the hospital wing with Severus taking the seat that she just vacated.

Both sat in silence for the next couple of hours, poppy once again come in and tried to coaxes the boy into drinking his potion but as usual Harry refused to acknowledge her so in the end she spelled them into him and headed back to her office while Severus kept reading his potion journal

"Suppose you come to gloat?" Harry asked in a tiny sketchy voice interrupting Severus from his reading.

"Excuse me Mr. Potter?" Severus asked not sure if he heard Harry right.

"Come to gloat, have you? Come to tell me how pathetic I am that I can't even kill myself properly that the Gryffindor golden boy can't do a thing right" Harry replied his voice slightly rising as he spoke.

"No Mr. Potter I would never…"

"Yeah right you would do it; put me down, humiliate me in front of everybody well go ahead see if I care" Harry was nearly yelling.

"Lower your voice Mr. Potter there is no need to shout" Severus said trying to calm down what appeared to be a very angry young man.

"Why the hell should I do what you tell me, I am nothing to you"

"That is not true"

"Yes it is you always tell me I'm how pathetic I am"

"…"

"Don't forget arrogant, spoilt…. oh yeah lets not forget that I am also a burden and a freak"

"Mr. Potter …"

"Just like my father but I don't have a father do I?"

"ENOUGH" Severus yelled making Harry flinch badly.

"Can't handle the words thrown back at you can you sir"

"Listen Mr. Potter and listen good as I will only say this once, you are not pathetic, arrogant, a freak or anything like that you are…"

"The savior of the wizarding world right, The-Boy-Who-lived who can't die ha-ha well guess what I don't want that, I don't want the fame or save anybody"

"I wasn't going to say that"

"Then what were you going to say that I'm useless…well guess what I know I am useless you don't have to tell me"

"Mr. Potter would you stop putting words in my mouth"

"Oh right so you're allowed to put words in my mouth that's not fair"

"Life is not fair Mr. Potter perhaps you should learn that now"

"I know life it not fair, you don't have to tell me that"

"What would you know about life not being fair?"

"More than you think Snape"

"You know nothing"

"Don't you tell me what I know and what I don't…you don't know me"

"I know you have had a better life then what people think"

"Is that what you think that I have had an easy life?"

"Yes, you're a child you wouldn't know how unfair life is"

"That's a lie!" Harry yelled. "I know more then you think"

"You know nothing of what it is like to feel pain, to have the woman you love leave you for your worse enemy"

"I do know my pain my life is full of pain"

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself because of a little pain."

Harry remained quiet, he didn't want to answer that question to the man that hated him with a passion; a man that according to a potion test was suppose to be his real father but treated him worse then ever and now he is asking why he tried to off himself.

The same man that just basically told him that he never knew how unfair life is; that he didn't know pain. Well he was wrong, he knew how unfair life is and all about pain…he has lived with it his entire life.

"Nothing to say on the matter Mr. Potter" Snape sneered at him.

After a few seconds of silence Snape smirked as he opened up his journal again and started to read.

"I hate you" Harry said with as much hatred as possible.

"Believe me Potter the feeling is more than mutual" Snape sneered back at him noticing the slight recoil Harry did. He knew he should've have said that for Harry was his son and it was clear the boy needed help but it was force of habit that Snape would say hurtful words back to Harry.

"Everybody hates me" Harry said defeated.

"Surely your relatives love you, after they have doted on you all your life"

"Is that what you think that my relatives heed to my every need?"

"Indeed"

"You're wrong, they hate me." Harry stated but before Snape could say anything Harry kept going…letting go of the emotions that have built up over the years. "They HATED ME, they hated everything about me. I never knew my name until I went to school; I was called freak or boy.

"If any thing went wrong, I always got the blame…if my Uncle lost a client or if my Aunt missed out on some stupid gossip or if my cousin did bad at school or if I did better then him…I got the blame.

"They would yell at me, call me names and if that wasn't enough they would beat me till I was black and blue and throw me in the cupboard and forget about me. They would leave me there for days on end not letting me out not even to go to the bathroom.

"They hardly fed me and if they did it were only scrapes from what they couldn't eat. My clothes were the hand me downs from my cousin which were ten sizes to big for me. I had to do all the chores and if I didn't have them done by the time my Uncle came home from work he would beat me.

"I never knew I was a wizard until Hagrid showed up with my letter then I came into the wizarding world only to discover I was famous for something I don't even remember and everyone was expecting things from me…things I had no idea about. I went from one prison to another.

"Then I ended up in this stupid tournament, something I didn't want but no one cared enough about that they are all expecting the great Harry Potter to do it. But everyone turned against me and hated the fact that some how I ended up in this competition.

"Then more recently I discovered that James Potter was not my real father but you were and for the first time in my life I thought I might have someone that could possibly love me for me but only to discover that you hate me more then anything and would be ashamed to call me your son.

"I felt alone…so alone no one wanted me around, everybody hated me and yet they still expect me to protect them, I can't do that I don't know how I am useless and not good at anything….well almost anything. According to my Uncle the only thing I am good at ishis fuck toy" Harry said tears falling out his eyes before collapsing onto his bed facing away from his teacher.

Severus was stunned at what Harry had said. His life according to Harry was a living hell and how could anyone including him not see the signs of an abuse boy.

"Harry" Severus called out after a few minutes of processing what he just learnt.

"Harry" he called again and this time Harry rolled over to look at his teacher.

"How long as this being happening?" Severus asked as gently as he could.

"As long as I can remember, it just seems normal to happen" Harry answered honestly.

"There is nothing normal about being abused Harry"

"How would I know, it's all I ever known" Harry bit back.

"What about the sexual abuse, surely that hasn't being going on that long"

"The same" Harry replied solemnly.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Severus asked feeling sick to the stomach that someone would touch a young child in a sexual manner.

"Because adults never believe me" Harry simply said.

"Explain"

"I told my teacher when I was at school OK, she said that was not true and not make up such a story…. she didn't believe because my Uncle and Aunt always convinced them I was clumsy and getting into trouble all the time and then when I got home my Uncle beat me"

"Why didn't you say anything when you to Hogwarts?"

"Who would have believed me? No one wants to hear that their savior was being abused"

"You could have come to me"

"You never gave me a reason that I could come to you in fact you humiliated me on my very first lesson"

"You are right, I never did give you a reason to be able to trust me" Severus said feeling as though he not only let down his student but he let down his own son in the worst possible way.

"Harry" Severus said wondering at what point did he stop calling him Potter but then again it seem wrong now to call him that now, for he was no longer a Potter but he was his son…Alexander.

"Alexander" Severus said getting the full attention of his son.

"You called me Alexander" Harry said surprised never expecting to be called by his true name or that perhaps his Professor may accept the fact he was his father; it gave him a glimmer of hope.

"That is your true name" Severus replied.

"I know but I thought you didn't want me as your son" Harry said timidly.

"At first I thought it was some sort of cruel joke especially since your mother and I..."

"You were what?" Harry asked noting his Professor/father hesitation.

Taking a breathe Severus continued "Your mother and I were married, I loved her very much but she left me for James Potter and then you came along and I was devastated that she would do that to me without any explanation. But now Alex, after much soul searching and of course doing the heredity potion again it told me that you are my son and for the first time since your mother walked out on me I felt ashamed.

"I was ashamed that I treated you so horribly; that I took all my anger towards your mother and my hatred for James Potter out on a innocent child and what makes it worse that child is my own son.

"Har….Sorry I mean Alex I have wronged you on so many levels a simple apology will not do, however if acceptable with you I would like to start again but not as student and professor but as father and son"

Harry looked at his Professor, he wasn't sure that he could forgive him or trust him. But his words seemed sincere and he wanted to believe him but past experience has told him that adults can't be trusted.

Severus watched his son and could see the conflicting emotions go through him. Alex needed a lot of help to deal with his trauma he has faced.

"Alex" Severus said "I know this isn't easy for you and I'm not asking you to forgive me especially the way I have treated you. What I am asking is that we get to know each other away from here, away from Hogwarts, discover who is Alexander Snape and perhaps I can learn to be a father to you"

"I don't know sir" Harry said "I want to believe that and I have never been a son to anyone before but I am scared that you will toss me away like everyone else has cause I'm nothing but a freak and a burden"

"Alex, YOU are in no way a freak or a burden and I should have never said those words to you and I apologies for it"

"I like the name Alex" Harry said "I don't know if I will be any good as a son I never been one before"

"And I never been a father before either perhaps together we can learn" Severus said

"I suppose so" Harry said

"Get some rest Alex, we will talk some more" Severus said gently moving Alex's hair out of his eyes.

Harry leaned into the touch; he never had anyone that touches him so gently. He gave a small smile and turned over and fell asleep thinking that perhaps he may have something he could live for.

Severus sat with his son, watching him sleep and cursing himself for letting his anger and hatred blind him to what was happening to him at home, the abuse he suffered at the hands of his so called family who were suppose to look after him. He knew of Lily's only sister Petunia and her extreme hatred of magic and he also knew that she married a man that considered himself 'normal' and could not stand anything that was slightly different.

Severus knew the road ahead was not going to be easy for either of them considering their history but perhaps with time they will become a family an Alex will have a father he can trust and rely on but for now is first priority is to take him away from Hogwarts, can him healed and when they are ready to return he can come back as Alex Snape and Harry Potter will be no more.


End file.
